Though Cersei has done her best to thin out the Game of Thrones character list, there are still a ton of names to keep track of. Plus, it’s been over a full year since last season. In anticipation of this Sunday’s Season 7 premiere, we’ve selected some of the key characters and determined which cars they would be if they were listed on our marketplace. If you can’t quite remember the names of all the players, this refresher will reacquaint you with the personalities and qualities of all the fan favorites. Get excited — winter is here.
Warning: spoilers ahead
Daenerys Targaryen: Aston Martin V8 Vantage
If you’re all caught up on the show, you know exactly who’s bringing her dragons and bloodriders to wreak havoc on the lords and ladies of Westeros. Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and First Men… and all the rest. Khaleesi will undoubtedly be descending on the seven kingdoms with style, purpose, and power. If she were a car, she’d be this beautiful Aston Martin V8 Vantage convertible. It’s exotic, sexy, sleek, and dignified. It’s small, but also a total badass with one of the all-time bloodlines. It’s got power too — the 4.3L V8 puts out nearly 400 hp. The whole fiery little package comes in rossa corsa Ferrari red paint, because dragons and all that. Khaleesi is done being underestimated, so either stay out of her way or rent this fierce little beauty next time you’re in the Bay Area.
Jon Snow: Nissan GT-R
Is he the Bastard of Winterfell or the King in the North? Either way, Jon Snow is a real guy’s guy and the classic hero that Westeros needs but definitely doesn’t deserve. He is this Nissan GT-R Black Edition. By now, Jon is a legendary warrior. He fought the white walkers, prevented a war, died, came back to life, and took Winterfell back from the Boltons. With 530 hp, the Nissan GT-R is a monster around the track and a nightmare on the dragstrip. It can destroy much flashier, more expensive supercars by hitting 60 mph in 2.7 seconds. This GT-R has a custom camouflage wrap that looks just like Commander Snow’s north-of-the-wall outfit. It’s strong, it’s brooding, it’s dutiful. It’s low-key for its immense power and talent, and Jon the GT-R is just waiting for his moment.
Cersei Lannister: Mercedes-Benz E-Class
Queen Cersei is conniving and vicious, but she carries herself with the refinement and class of someone born into the richest family in the land. This brand-new Mercedes-Benz E 300 has the noble elegance and assuredness that Cersei puts on. The E 300 has a turbocharged inline-4 that makes 241 hp, so it’s got some grunt but isn’t strictly fun, if speed is what you’re looking for. No, Cersei doesn’t dirty her hands, but she pulls all the levers and strings from the comfort of her castle. The E-Class has long been a leader in interior luxury and cutting-edge gadgetry, so this 2017 model has all the toys and pleasures that the Queen demands. No wine, though.
The Mountain: Hummer H1
Ser Gregor Clegane, better known as the Mountain for obvious reasons, has seen more than his fair share of fights. He’s a bruising beast and a man of mythical size and brawn. We have to assign him this Hummer H1, which is rough, rugged, and ready for battle. Skyler’s H1 has giant tires, a snorkel, and camouflage paint. It’s unrefined and has some scars, but it doesn’t care. Most importantly, it’s huge. Just like the Mountain, the Hummer H1 is an imposing all-terrain monster that will gobble up anything you put in its way.
Tyrion Lannister: Fiat 850 Spider
This lively little Fiat 850 Spider is the vehicular manifestation of everyone’s favorite Westerosi dwarf. Tyrion is tiny, energetic, and spunky to the point of annoyance. People may make fun of him, but he’s got the sharpest wit in the show and is really rather charming once you get to know him. Neither this Fiat nor Tyrion take themselves too seriously, and neither should you. Tyrion is little use in physical battle, just as the 850 Spider isn’t for racing. The yellow even fits his Lannister heritage.
Petyr Baelish: Fisker Karma
Lord Baelish is a sneaky, mysterious figure who pops up in convenient places at convenient times. He’s wealthy and elegant, but doesn’t shout about it, because he’s too busy playing “the game.” The Fisker Karma is a mysterious, slithery sedan with striking style and a unique construction. If you recall, Fisker briefly challenged Tesla with this luxury hybrid before going under. The Karma is a sleekly designed hybrid with a beautiful interior and solar panels on the roof. It even has Baelish’s mustache! It’s very rare, so catch this Karma whenever you’re in San Diego — you won’t be disappointed.
Lord Varys: Mercedes-Benz 300 SEL
Lord Varys is a cerebral old bird. He’s seen and heard much through the years, so he has more wisdom and perspective than nearly anyone in the realm. Zim’s 1971 Mercedes-Benz 300 SEL has the stately grace to match Varys’s legendary poise. It’s a luxurious, high-born classic with the experience of decades on the road. This 300 SEL has been wonderfully maintained and offers a pleasant, peaceful ride for its passengers. Varys has been playing politics for longer than most, mostly because he’s managed to stay above the fray and soldier on as the Westerosi lords tear each other apart.
Arya Stark: Mazda MX-5 Miata RF
Arya Stark is not no one. A girl is Arya Stark, the fiercest newly-minted assassin with a penchant for bloody vengeance. Thanks to her brutal training, Arya can change her appearance at will and get real stabby on whoever has wronged her family. The shapeshifting Mazda MX-5 Miata RF is the perfect fit for the youngest Stark — the RF stands for Retractable Fastback. This newest version of the newest Miata pulls some trickery by folding a two-part hardtop roof down behind the seats. The result is a targa top look that carries hints of the Porsche 911. The Miata is already a favorite sportscar for drivers everywhere, but the Retractable Fastback’s transforming ability makes it that much more exciting.